- Him: Can you help me? What do you think I need to improve?
- Me: Self-esteem.
If you ever do a strenuous hike in the desert, don’t forget to replenish minerals as well as water.
Because you may otherwise faint while checking out at the gift shop and end your amazing, bucket-list hiking trip at the ER, full of 3 bags of saline, wiping your Doritos fingers on your dusty shorts, and googling ways to get the EKG electrodes’ glue off your sideboob.
I miss being single. This is probably over.
Tomorrow I shall present at the Watergate office building, but tonight I shall Warcraft III.
It was only a castle when she began, but before very long she knew it was Winterfell.